Thank you for piecing this article together! Especially the fact that while we can promote better shopping habits, and small businesses; that shopping mass market is an inevitable part of retail and that shame culture should not be imposed on people who need to purchase through more affordable channels. It's about finding balance in the equation, and this is the best insight we can all extract from these loopy times.
100%. So much of the no buy conversation seems to be rooted in shame, but really there are so many ways to consume, and our priorities - be it the planet, budget, time, family, access, etc. - are all huge factors in our habits. But the more we think about it, care about it, and try to be mindful about it all, the better - even if we still use Amazon and shop at Target!! No shame!!
I really enjoyed this piece! I related to a lot of what you said.
The conversation about shame in our society is so damaging. I have been trying to keep this quote on a loop in my head 'Imperfect action is better than perfect inaction'. It really helps me. Pursuing perfection instead of improvement is a major pitfall in the way we discuss our consumption.
Echoing all the other sentiments - a really nice nuanced take on consumption. I try to minimize mine and shop secondhand most of the time. But honestly, I’m also going through peri-menopause and while a lot of it sucks (changing body, unexpected random symptoms) it’s also been a bit of “reawakening” of caring about my style. So there has been some definite over-consumption and buying some fast fashion. But I’m not beating myself up this time. It’s a stage, and right now, I need to feel good and if a pair of red mesh shoes from H&M help with that a little bit, I’m going for it. ❤️
There's a time and a place for everything!! I, too am in a season of life where fast fashion makes more sense - trying to figure out who I am and my style postpartum is an ongoing journey, and one that's made more accessible through mass market and H&M! Go for those red mesh shoes!
This was so well written, Jennifer. I am in a similar phase of life in terms of consumption- and constantly bully myself for my reliance on Amazon/Whole Foods and buying my daughter clothes at Gap, Target, etc. It’s hard to avoid the convenience, especially when you’re a mom! But i agree that taking small, actionable steps still counts. We are furnishing a new house and I’m trying really hard to find most things we need to purchase secondhand or from small, local businesses. I’m also trying to shift to buying clothes directly from a brands online store versus a bigger online retailer.
Convenience is everything sometimes, especially with kids. But it's all about doing what we can when we can and forgiving ourselves for when we can't. It just is what it is, and these mass brands and the ones focused on convenience are there for a reason!
Jennifer, I appreciate your honesty and advice about how to balance consumption with care. Shopping is so woven into the fabric of capitalism, and it can feel overwhelming to take a step back and pause on how it all works, and what it means, and how we can do something better. Oof… too much for one person to tackle so I am grateful to have found like minded people here to deliberate with. (I am launching my own Substack about shopping with Black and female owned brands, and how being an adoptive mom has reshaped my view of society, equity and opportunity. I hope you check it out! Launching soon!) Anywoo, you are a special voice and you rock!!
Yes I will! Thank you for the encouragement! I’m equal parts nervous and excited about putting my passion project out for public consumption. But I told you so I guess I have to do it now. 😉
I loved every word you wrote. The description of the store you work for sounded like me (PS- can you share details of where you work?) but more than that, this feeling of being stuck between loving clothes and caring deeply about our planet and how I care for my family resonated. So very good.
It's so hard to balance needing things, and needing things for your family, and wanting things, and also wanting to have less. And of course, society always tells us it's our fault as individuals, but it's so much more complicated than that!
Love all of these takes, especially shopping small/independent when and where you can and ALSO being ok with shopping mass market. Like most things in life, it's about balance and the season you're in. Another hot take, but mass market can also be an investment piece if you take the time to figure out your style and build your wardrobe consciously. A cotton t-shirt dress from Target can be a staple, and might be worth the quality vs price equation when you have to save somewhere. But I also recently invested in a beautiful pinstripe blazer with lace trim detail from Tanner Fletcher because I LOVE what they are doing with their brand, and really connected with them as people too! It's probably the only purchase like that I can make this year if I'm being totally honest, but worth the trade-offs elsewhere to support. - Ashlyn
Thank you for piecing this article together! Especially the fact that while we can promote better shopping habits, and small businesses; that shopping mass market is an inevitable part of retail and that shame culture should not be imposed on people who need to purchase through more affordable channels. It's about finding balance in the equation, and this is the best insight we can all extract from these loopy times.
100%. So much of the no buy conversation seems to be rooted in shame, but really there are so many ways to consume, and our priorities - be it the planet, budget, time, family, access, etc. - are all huge factors in our habits. But the more we think about it, care about it, and try to be mindful about it all, the better - even if we still use Amazon and shop at Target!! No shame!!
Beautiful articulation of what I've been thinking about, and it's really appreciated that at the end you have some actionable take-aways. Thank you.
Thanks Zara!!
I really enjoyed this piece! I related to a lot of what you said.
The conversation about shame in our society is so damaging. I have been trying to keep this quote on a loop in my head 'Imperfect action is better than perfect inaction'. It really helps me. Pursuing perfection instead of improvement is a major pitfall in the way we discuss our consumption.
So glad you enjoyed it!
I love that quote. It's so true that it's better to do what we can when we can then hold out until we can change everything!
Echoing all the other sentiments - a really nice nuanced take on consumption. I try to minimize mine and shop secondhand most of the time. But honestly, I’m also going through peri-menopause and while a lot of it sucks (changing body, unexpected random symptoms) it’s also been a bit of “reawakening” of caring about my style. So there has been some definite over-consumption and buying some fast fashion. But I’m not beating myself up this time. It’s a stage, and right now, I need to feel good and if a pair of red mesh shoes from H&M help with that a little bit, I’m going for it. ❤️
There's a time and a place for everything!! I, too am in a season of life where fast fashion makes more sense - trying to figure out who I am and my style postpartum is an ongoing journey, and one that's made more accessible through mass market and H&M! Go for those red mesh shoes!
This was so well written, Jennifer. I am in a similar phase of life in terms of consumption- and constantly bully myself for my reliance on Amazon/Whole Foods and buying my daughter clothes at Gap, Target, etc. It’s hard to avoid the convenience, especially when you’re a mom! But i agree that taking small, actionable steps still counts. We are furnishing a new house and I’m trying really hard to find most things we need to purchase secondhand or from small, local businesses. I’m also trying to shift to buying clothes directly from a brands online store versus a bigger online retailer.
Convenience is everything sometimes, especially with kids. But it's all about doing what we can when we can and forgiving ourselves for when we can't. It just is what it is, and these mass brands and the ones focused on convenience are there for a reason!
Jennifer, I appreciate your honesty and advice about how to balance consumption with care. Shopping is so woven into the fabric of capitalism, and it can feel overwhelming to take a step back and pause on how it all works, and what it means, and how we can do something better. Oof… too much for one person to tackle so I am grateful to have found like minded people here to deliberate with. (I am launching my own Substack about shopping with Black and female owned brands, and how being an adoptive mom has reshaped my view of society, equity and opportunity. I hope you check it out! Launching soon!) Anywoo, you are a special voice and you rock!!
I can't wait to read your Substack!! Share it with me when you launch - we need more voices talking about Black and female owned brands!!
Thank you so much for reading!!
Yes I will! Thank you for the encouragement! I’m equal parts nervous and excited about putting my passion project out for public consumption. But I told you so I guess I have to do it now. 😉
Nerves are normal, but I'm sure it'll be amazing. And yes, I'm holding you to it now!!
I loved every word you wrote. The description of the store you work for sounded like me (PS- can you share details of where you work?) but more than that, this feeling of being stuck between loving clothes and caring deeply about our planet and how I care for my family resonated. So very good.
Thank you Kelly!! I work for a store called ONS!
It's so hard to balance needing things, and needing things for your family, and wanting things, and also wanting to have less. And of course, society always tells us it's our fault as individuals, but it's so much more complicated than that!
Love all of these takes, especially shopping small/independent when and where you can and ALSO being ok with shopping mass market. Like most things in life, it's about balance and the season you're in. Another hot take, but mass market can also be an investment piece if you take the time to figure out your style and build your wardrobe consciously. A cotton t-shirt dress from Target can be a staple, and might be worth the quality vs price equation when you have to save somewhere. But I also recently invested in a beautiful pinstripe blazer with lace trim detail from Tanner Fletcher because I LOVE what they are doing with their brand, and really connected with them as people too! It's probably the only purchase like that I can make this year if I'm being totally honest, but worth the trade-offs elsewhere to support. - Ashlyn