First of all, thank you for your honesty and transparency on everything from Botox to parenting to your political engagement--it's refreshing, and part of what makes this corner of the internet one I am interested in spending time in! I have also been compelled and haunted by the Hot Girl Hamster Wheel since I heard the original episode on Money with Katie a few years ago. I think the question it causes me to wrestle with is, WHY does a certain beauty practice make us "feel good"? Is it really because of some inherent benefit to our overall well-being? Or is it because we are agreeing, in some shape or form, to participate in a social contract about how women should look in our society?
I think it's really hard to parse out what's truly fulfilling or enjoyable to us when we are so influenced, consciously and unconsciously, by culture, our families, our lived experience, etc. on how we should present ourselves as women in the world. I struggle to know how to discern what self-care rituals or beauty "investments" truly make me happy vs. what I am doing due to social pressure. For example, while I haven't tried Botox, I wonder this about getting twice-a-year highlights all the time--do I actually like this and want this for myself, or is this the result of social conditioning about what is considered more attractive (blonde=good)?
Obviously I don't have any answers here, but I appreciate you sharing some of your own internal process on this question, and thought I'd share a bit of my own. Thanks for being a rad and genuine human being!
I completely agree - it's nearly impossible to discern what we actually love/feel good doing versus what we think we do because of societal factors, but something that I'm starting to come around on it just letting it be what it is. We should of course be paying attention to how we're influenced and what that means for our desires, but I also think it's ok to take a step back from theorizing and questioning all the time and just say: hey, I think I like this, I don't know why, but I want to do it. It is so easy to get bogged down with overanalyzing, so as I get older I'm trying to just let some of that go and be comfortable with my desires in whatever form they take, no matter where they stem from - if that all makes sense.
But I think it's so important to have these conversations and question ourselves and dig deeper into gendered norms and expectations so we can do better for our kids and those of us coming up next!!!
I didn't know the power of a textured skirt until I had one!! And being here all these scandi girls are making me want something sequin or sheer or both?!
I've been wearing it with button ups and tees exclusively. Especially when it's just a jeans and a tee day it adds a little something...
I don’t know what’s in the air but these past weeks they have been hard. We also have a lot on our plate right now but I can’t believe August is already here. Crazy year. Loooove your Farm in Rio skirt we need to see it!!
Sadly I am going to return that skirt!! It's more of a wrap situation and I realized it's too fussy for me. I need something easy and pull on instead but still love the look, so will keep hunting...
I’ve been living in the Left on Friday high tide bottoms this summer and slowly convincing myself to get a third pair. I really enjoyed reading the BTS of your month and might have to unban myself from RealReal morning scrolling — a habit I was deep into this time last year.
I like when you separate things you bought versus gifts from brands!
I love Diabolical Lies and they funded my classroom request list so I will ride for both of them forever!!!
ok good to know and I LOVE THAT! they really are doing some great work!!!
First of all, thank you for your honesty and transparency on everything from Botox to parenting to your political engagement--it's refreshing, and part of what makes this corner of the internet one I am interested in spending time in! I have also been compelled and haunted by the Hot Girl Hamster Wheel since I heard the original episode on Money with Katie a few years ago. I think the question it causes me to wrestle with is, WHY does a certain beauty practice make us "feel good"? Is it really because of some inherent benefit to our overall well-being? Or is it because we are agreeing, in some shape or form, to participate in a social contract about how women should look in our society?
I think it's really hard to parse out what's truly fulfilling or enjoyable to us when we are so influenced, consciously and unconsciously, by culture, our families, our lived experience, etc. on how we should present ourselves as women in the world. I struggle to know how to discern what self-care rituals or beauty "investments" truly make me happy vs. what I am doing due to social pressure. For example, while I haven't tried Botox, I wonder this about getting twice-a-year highlights all the time--do I actually like this and want this for myself, or is this the result of social conditioning about what is considered more attractive (blonde=good)?
Obviously I don't have any answers here, but I appreciate you sharing some of your own internal process on this question, and thought I'd share a bit of my own. Thanks for being a rad and genuine human being!
I completely agree - it's nearly impossible to discern what we actually love/feel good doing versus what we think we do because of societal factors, but something that I'm starting to come around on it just letting it be what it is. We should of course be paying attention to how we're influenced and what that means for our desires, but I also think it's ok to take a step back from theorizing and questioning all the time and just say: hey, I think I like this, I don't know why, but I want to do it. It is so easy to get bogged down with overanalyzing, so as I get older I'm trying to just let some of that go and be comfortable with my desires in whatever form they take, no matter where they stem from - if that all makes sense.
But I think it's so important to have these conversations and question ourselves and dig deeper into gendered norms and expectations so we can do better for our kids and those of us coming up next!!!
I love THAT outfit (you know which one I’m talking about) and I’m doing my best to figure out how to recreate it with items in my closet.
Also loving how you’re styling the LF necklace, I’ve struggled wearing mine, and I should have realized that a button up was the answer.
I didn't know the power of a textured skirt until I had one!! And being here all these scandi girls are making me want something sequin or sheer or both?!
I've been wearing it with button ups and tees exclusively. Especially when it's just a jeans and a tee day it adds a little something...
<3
I don’t know what’s in the air but these past weeks they have been hard. We also have a lot on our plate right now but I can’t believe August is already here. Crazy year. Loooove your Farm in Rio skirt we need to see it!!
SO HARD!
Sadly I am going to return that skirt!! It's more of a wrap situation and I realized it's too fussy for me. I need something easy and pull on instead but still love the look, so will keep hunting...
Noooo but I get it! If it’s not working for you, yes definitely return it!
Thank you so much for mention! Hope your daughter loves her new doll!!
She loves it so much!!! Kiki, as she's named it, is her new bff!
Don't get the prada mules! I just sold mine on TRR a few months ago because they're actually impossible to walk in. Haha
Omg DEVASTATING they’re so pretty!!!
I KNOW -- i felt it was my civic duty to let you know. That little triangle heel is a total bitch.
I appreciate the intel!!
I’ve been living in the Left on Friday high tide bottoms this summer and slowly convincing myself to get a third pair. I really enjoyed reading the BTS of your month and might have to unban myself from RealReal morning scrolling — a habit I was deep into this time last year.
They're really the best swimsuits! Unban yourself as long as you have the self control to not impulse buy, haha.