the weekly: shopping through end times

There is no small amount of cognitive dissonance that I face each week when I put this newsletter out into the universe. It feels trite to send you all links of pretty things to spend money on while the world around us as we knew it seems to be shifting, crumbling, burning. I feel silly, sometimes, taking selfies of outfits, discussing my wish lists, offering opinions on the latest hit TV shows, peddling new books to read, however prescient they may be. Who has time, right now, to be sitting and reading, scrolling and clicking, liking and sharing? Shouldn’t we all be out there yelling? Kicking? Screaming? Putting up some sort of fight as we are dragged into the depths of what can only be described as hell? Who cares what I’m wearing on the streets of New York City, if those streets aren’t flooded with people demanding more or better or hell, just something.

Yet, every week that comes to pass I keep writing these silly little lists of dresses to wear or jeans to buy because something about it feels safe. If we’re still shopping, it can’t be that bad, right? If I keep going to work and spending money and lusting after beautiful clothes then that means I’m still here. If I can create wish lists and think about what to buy for next season, it means I have hope for the future. That there will be a next season, that I will still have a job, that there will still be things to get dressed up for, that I will still care about what I’m wearing and therefore am not cloaked in a red cape. Not yet, at least. That things are just “normal” enough that life, however stressful and scary, is still trodding on.

I don’t have much of a point here, except to note that continuing to write about frivolous things like clothes and fashion is both mind bendingly unimportant and the only thing keeping me sane. That I realize how silly some of this may feel when children are dying and families are getting ripped apart and yet another war is starting. That I am aware, more than it may seem, of the banality of my line of work when there is much more real, important, urgent work to be done elsewhere. That I’m not just putting these out into the universe while ignoring the very real challenges of our time.

Which, perhaps, is why you may have noticed the intros to these Friday posts have started to shift a tiny bit. I’ve been feeling a tad more emotional, reflective, raw, exhausted; and that always makes me more open. I feel like I’ve been provided a platform in which to share the things that make me feel human with the hopes that someone out there might feel it too, and that, these days, includes the things I am scared about, worried about, fear. I’m sure I’ll lose a couple of you in the process, but if we can’t talk about hard things now, then we won’t have pretty things to buy then. There are urgent and important issues facing us, globally, but especially here in the US. And those issues are - whether we want them to be or not - connected to the clothes we want to wear, the clothes we can wear, the clothes we can buy, the places we put our money, and how we want to, or can, show up in the world. It’s all connected, but you know that by now.

Anyways. I actually had a whole other intro written for today. One about this being “hot mom summer” and all that it entails, but I just couldn’t press send. Maybe another time. Instead, sending a few notes about my feelings felt better today, because things have been a lot lately. So if you’re feeling it, if you’re tired, if you’re worried, if you’re burnt out, I see you. But we have to keep going, keep talking, keep fighting. We have to keep using our words - certainly the best tool at my disposal right now - to affect change. Or try to, at least. We have one chance in this lifetime, and it matters how we show up. Not just for ourselves, now, but for our children, and their children, and their children, and the children of those strangers from another city or state or country, and their children.

So anyways. Keep showing up. Rest. But keep fighting. Shop. But keep talking. Want. But keep protesting. Laugh. But remain aware. In other words, live your life - enjoy your life!! - but don’t forget to works towards making life better for those around you, near and far, too.

Moving on!

Below the paywall this week you’ll get:

• A whole bunch of links to articles I’ve been reading this week because I can’t stop consuming the news.

• A whole bunch of links to things on my shopping list because I’m determined to upgrade my top game

• A whole bunch of outfits and a snapshot of what I’ve been up to this week

And ICYMI, I reviewed a few pieces I tried on at Buck Mason in the chat,

Alex Friedman

revealed her skincare routine in last week’s “taking notes”, and right around this time last year I sent out a post about maternity wear in the summer (I had my baby in August, and therefore was suffering through the third trimester in a New York City sweltering summer). Everything in it holds true, so I’m sharing it again here.