issue #15: the best diaper bag that's not a diaper bag.

and why do we need so much stuff?

When I was making my registry, I searched high and low for a diaper bag that I was not offended by.  I was pretty unsuccessful.  I’m not sure what it is about calling something a diaper bag that makes bag designers feel the need to make them so obvious, but personally I wasn’t so stoked on carrying something around that just screamed “I’m a mom! Ask me for wet wipes!”

So I embarked on finding something that was a little bit more understated, something that could be used for work as well as for baby, and something that had a lot of pockets for all her Stuff.  I wasn’t trying to spend a boatload of money, but I also wasn’t looking for the most budget conscious item either - it needs to last, be washable and durable, and functional - all of which does, or should, require spending at least a *little bit* of money. (However, I am taking recs for favorite bags that aren’t spendy but are also very, fully functional).

I landed on the Bags in Progress Carry-All Beach Bag. Now, full disclosure, I know the woman that owns and runs this brand so I was slightly biased (she’s the sweetest, and I will always be down to support nice women running small businesses), but this bag truly does have it all. Four inside pockets big enough for diapers and wipes. Four outside pockets for anything you need quick access to - in our case that’s always Sophie la girafe, a pacifier or two, a cloth bib, and a snack of some sort - probably teether crackers which our daughter absolutely cannot get enough of (hey, Gerber, how many is too many in one sitting?)  There are snaps at the top and sides, no zipper though, for those that want one, and there are adjustable straps for both over the shoulder and crossbody.  I do also use it for work, and on any given day I have a laptop, an iPad, a Hydroflask, my trusty Clare V crossbody (also great, if you’re in the market), a book, and my journal.  It’s likely that I will also either have my work clothes or pilates clothes stuffed in there, depending on the time of day.  And that’s not all!! I always have my medium sized Caraway container containing my lunch (we got it as a wedding gift, actually I do not recommend it at all), and a mason jar containing my breakfast. Guys, literally, SO MUCH STUFF. I’m sure any doctor would tell you it’s too much and I’m going to end up lopsided or whatever (yes, I get why backpacks are better). But in my defense it’s only packed that much on work days!  On weekends when we use it as a diaper bag we limit it to diapers, wipes, pacis, two bottles, formula, snacks (lots of them, she’s like a damn garbage disposal), a book or two, maybe a stuffy, a lightweight park blanket just in case, a water bottle for us, and maybe a toy or two. Still, SO MUCH STUFF. Why do they need so much stuff? Why do I need so much stuff?!

It never ceases to amaze me how much we are told we need, day in and day out, in order to raise a happy, healthy, well-adjusted baby.  Some of it is absolutely necessary, but the constant inundation of ads for this thing that promises this and that thing that promises that are truly overwhelming.  The baby industry has become well over a billion dollar industry, and it’s easy to see how.  Not only are we confronted with ads, lists of must-haves, and fellow parents imparting wisdom on what worked for them and their baby (hi, it’s me), but we are also sleep deprived and desperate.  I can’t even count the number of nights I spent attempting to nurse my baby to sleep, teary eyed and exhausted, clicking links to this book that promises to get your baby to sleep through the night to that bottle that reduces the colic to those nipple covers that are “scientifically proven” to reduce pain and swelling. Spending made easier by shoppable Instagram links and convenient algorithmically recommended products on Amazon that will show up in the next few hours. New packages showing up every day on our doorstep, some we will find valuable, others will instantly be added to a donation box. The overconsumption of baby-rearing drove both my husband and I absolutely mad, as two people that do try to be conscientious of how much and what we are buying. As she gets older that has become easier to manage.  She’s growing *slightly* slower, we have started to realize what we actually need versus things we are just being sold, and we aren’t nearly as stressed out, overwhelmed, and exhausted - naturally leading to smarter shopping and spending, and just all round better decision making.  But in those early days the struggle was too real.  My bank account is still reeling from it, and we still have boxes of sometimes unopened, sometimes hardly used, Baby Stuff that one day, when I’m less tired, I will find a new home for. 

So, at least in the diaper bag I managed to cut through all that, to find something I really actually liked that I really actually use literally every day for so many things.  And It’s something I will certainly continue to use, even when she grows out of diapers.

xx,

jen