issue #42: how I'm dressing for trying times
I am still trying to process what happened last week. I keep going around and around in my head wondering what went wrong, trying to figure out how so many people chose to support someone who embodies so much hatred and anger, still trying to sort out where we go from here and reconcile my feelings about whether or not I even want to stay here and fight. The prospect of just throwing my arms up and calling it a day - booking it to Costa Rica or Europe or Canada - is simmering in the back of my mind constantly (tbh, before this election as well). I know a lot of places out there are also going through some challenging times, but man, to wake up one day to have your world shattered by the news of a second Trump term really makes it hard to want to stay here.
But, for now, since I actually don’t have plans to leave (yet), I’m getting ready to fight. Because although I am tired, I still do believe in the power of giving truth to power, using our voices, standing up for what we believe in, and never giving up on the fight for what’s right.
Last time, in 2016, we took to the streets. We marched, we donned pink hats, we made funny but also sad and angry signs. We yelled and screamed and put our feet down and said we do not stand for this. This time, I am seeing a lot less of that. I do not think we will be wearing the pink hats (except maybe this one that I’ve been rocking all week that’s less explicit and seasonally appropriate and still cute as a pop of color), and although I think we will take to the streets here and there, because we have to, it will not come with the same hopefulness of change that we saw perviously. We will still be marching because it is our civic right and duty, but we will no longer have on rose colored glasses. We will no longer think that our massive movement taking over city streets will affect change. Rather, I think, or hope, we will see action in a different way. We will see more people getting involved on a local level, running for local office or volunteering on local campaigns. Working to change the things they can in their neighborhoods, communities, cities and states. These seemingly small movements and actions and local policy changes will start to become bigger and grander and more all encompassing and the movement will morph over time to affect real, sustainable change in our communities that protects the vulnerable and safeguards whatever we can from whatever he that shall not be named may try. It will be a long and bumpy and imperfect road, but one that I do believe in, and one that is worth fighting for.
And for that fight, I need a uniform.
Not only is uniform dressing just easy - by having a few versatile pieces that you style together in similar ways day in and day out you are left with free time to think about…other things. But it’s also practical, more sustainable (fewer, better things with a longer life), and, in my opinion, means fucking business. You lean into uniform dressing because you are confident, capable, and getting shit done. Some of our most influential folks throughout history have leaned into this concept - Steve Jobs, Albert Einstein, Barack Obama, and Anna Wintour - just to name a few.
This isn’t to say that you can’t have fun or play with color or special pieces, there is always a time and a place for that, but I’m saying for the day to day, the get up and go, the changing the world before and after work (or during), this is the concept I’ll be dressing by for the foreseeable future. (PS mom, if you’re reading this, I’ll take one of each for Christmas please!)
Coats & Jackets
For me, key items here are a really versatile oversized blazer, a kick ass leather jacket, a chic overcoat, a classic trench, and an every day, easy to throw on light jacket. These are pieces that can live forever in your closet as the trends really won’t fluctuate too much here, are worth spending a little bit more on (cost per wear, friends!), and add an instant boost to any outfit (and honestly, mood. When I don my leather biker jacket I feel like I can conquer the word). Pro tip: you can find some leather jacket gems on resale - most vintage stores have a great selection, and the resale market for traditional men’s biker jackets is thriving on Poshmark and eBay!
A Well Rounded Pants Selection
I’m a firm believer in having at least one pant for every occasion, but for me, this often takes the form of at least one jean shape for every occasion because I basically live in denim. That said, I do also tend to buy multiples if something happens to fit really, really well (a denim rarity). As I clean out my wardrobe and make space for rounding out my closet with essentials, I’m keeping the below shapes and styles in mind as I think it’s necessary to ensure you have a pant for every shoe (and vice versa).
Brainless Tops and Sweaters
If I could reside in a place that was 65 and partly sunny every day I would (don’t @ me). Because that would mean I could live in chunky sweaters and not even have to think about donning anything else except maybe a nice overcoat or beanie on occasion. Alas, that’s not where I live, so that’s not what I do, but I am still going to build my fighting wardrobe around ensuring I have something in every color (and by every I mean grey, black, navy, brown, and cream), and every neckline (polo, cardigan, turtleneck, crew, v neck). Having those bases covered means you always have one to grab that goes with…whatever…and the rest can be layered in. I am also a firm believer in having a range of oversize button up shirts because they instantly make you feel and look put together but are incredibly comfortable and easy, tees in all the core colors (black, white, navy, grey, and if you find a fit you like get it in all four), as well as a Very Good Sweatshirt and a Very Good Hoodie.
Shoes for Taking on the Patriarchy
Shoes have always, always been a challenge for me. I love them!! I do!! I spend a lot of time looking at shoes and lusting after all the gorgeous silhouettes and interesting heels and fun colors and statement sneakers. But I always, always find myself just having a hard time justifying the cost. I know. I know what it costs to make them. I know about cost per wear. I know that having a nice pair of shoes that fits well can make you feel like you can conquer the world, it’s just a block I have! I’m working on it though, and part of that is seriously editing out anything I never find myself reaching for and instead leaning into core silhouettes that I will wear over and over again to help ease my mind over the spending. I also know shoe trends change often, so I’m trying to stick to super classic, timeless, will always be around picks here that will be easy to replace if need be (I’m on my, like, 12th pair of Chucks), but also make me feel good and don’t totally break the bank because I’m just not that girl right now!
Practical Things
We need practical things!! We are busy people fighting the good fight that need practical clothes that serve the purpose of helping us get through our day (or train, or run, or carry our shit, or hide our tired eyes). These are my favorite, relatively no nonsense, reliable pieces that I use and wear constantly and always make room for in my closet.
The Fun Stuff
Because a girl still likes a good party, ok?? But, since I don’t go to many (someone invite me!) I’m paring this category down a lot. Do I need four sequined items in my closet like I have now? Probably not. But do I need one hot shoe I can dance in all night in the off chance I have to attend a wedding? Yep.
Loving:
My daughter took her first steps last week and wow, is it special to see that.
Coveting:
A more fair and equal society that advances the rights of every single person and believes in the power of lifting up and working together rather than division and putting others down. Too much to ask?
Literally everyone keeps recommending these pants (hi,
, & just to name a few…), so maybe they will be my holiday splurge for myself.As winter approaches I find myself wanting to invest a new set of around the house loungewear as I feel like I’ll be spending more and more time here. I am particularly obsessed with this boyfriend short, tee and henley from Negative Underwear.
Buying:
I just absolutely could not resist this adorable toddler leather jacket from Zara. I’m sorry, but how fucking cute??
Doing:
Over the weekend I went to a lovely mini yoga retreat/workshop at Sky Ting courtesy of Moms Do Yoga. It was two hours of practicing yoga and spending time with other women sharing our thoughts, feelings, fears, hopes, and dreams about where we go from here, our families, motherhood, and beyond. It was special and cathartic and exactly what I have been craving. If you’re located in or around NYC I highly recommend.
Eating:
It’s chaotic and weird and finally getting cold so it’s time for stews and soups and slow cooker recipes and root vegetables. I spent Sunday making this delicious beef stew and it was so grounding and comforting I might make it a weekend tradition this winter.
Reading:
I’m trying to avoid (although not having much luck) reading too many things about the election, what went wrong, how people are feeling, etc. because I know it’s a) too early to have all the answers b) still so raw and emotional for me c) is futile - we lost, and d) I just need some fucking joy. So, instead I have been making my way through the latest issue of The Gentlewoman because I need to break from screens, don’t have the headspace for a book, and love reading words by women, for women, about women.
see you next week!
jen
Love your suggestions here. PS can attest to the greatness of the negative set. It's so good. I wear the henley out too (great with the shon pants & a little heel for a date night!!!!)