issue #28: breaking up with my closet.

Why I'm purging, and how I'm trying to get back to my own sense of personal style.

I am going through somewhat of a divorce with my closet. A conscious uncoupling, if you will.

For the last decade plus, I’ve worked on the wholesale side of the fashion industry. If you’re reading this, you probably know what that means, but if you don’t, it means I was working directly on the B2B sales side with brands, selling their collections to retailers worldwide. Part of this, at least for me, entailed getting really entrenched with these brands. Often, this meant wearing their clothes, developing my style around each brand I was working with and embodying the brand through my dress and style. This was not necessarily a required part of the job, but it certainly felt like it helped me do my job better - to really feel connected to the brand - and also, I often got great discounts or free product, which helped. It sort of forced me to lean in, and I didn’t hate it.

In my most recent role, I was fortunate enough to represent quite a few brands, and our company also had a small chain of retail shops. I was incredibly fortunate to be able to get my hands on a lot of amazing pieces, and my style inevitably became intrinsically connected to the style of both the shop and the owner of the shop. I took on a lot of the same style habits as my boss (the owner) but after that relationship fizzed and I left the company and took on a new role somewhere else, I started to realize that I had seemed to have lost my own sense of style and taste along the way. I had for so long assimilated to what was directly in front me, and who I was working for or with, that I forgot who I was and what I liked in the process. That’s not to say I didn’t, or don’t, like a lot of the things I was wearing, but shuffling through my closet and stacks of clothes now, it doesn’t feel like me.

I think deep down that was part of the reason I started writing about fashion, style, and shopping here. I was searching for a way to get back to what I liked and felt good in, and exploring that without jumping in head first and spending my meager savings on things I might not end up getting a lot of use out of or feeling good in. It was a way to look at what’s out there, start playing with trends and style in a noncommittal way, and explore what made fashion fun to me in the first place, again.

But beyond that, my new role has been inspiring me to make some changes in my personal style as well. Now, as a buyer, I am (mostly) untethered from specific brands, and I feel like I have a lot more freedom to play around with what I like and want to wear. It’s liberating!! It’s fun!! It’s, honestly, inspiring! It’s a true blessing to get to see so many beautiful things and meet so many beautiful designers and have access to so many beautiful clothes, and now I feel like I get to lean into that privilege and carve my own space out, in this small, weird little world I occupy.

And, lastly, I had a baby. And I know the goal is not necessarily to get back to pre-baby weight. And I know that my body has just straight up changed shape (and it may never go back). And all of that is ok. But it’s not easy, and many of the things I had and loved before baby no longer suit me, or fit me, or make me feel good. Which is ok too. I’ve finally arrived at a place in which I can get dressed in the morning without a full fledged breakdown, and I can try on old pants that no longer zip with little to no attachment (for both pants and old body). It’s been a long journey and it will continue to be a long journey in getting back to feeling my best in my own skin, but for better or worse, good, well-fitting clothes definitely do help.

So, I’ve begun to clear out space. I’ve sent countless bags to ThreadUp, boxed up a few things for The RealReal, and have listed a lot on Poshmark which is honestly a huge headache, but I hope these things that I have loved and are actually pretty good make it into a loving home that can appreciate them without all the baggage (if you’re interested in what I’m selling, give me a shout).

And in their place, I am looking forward to adding some great new things in their place!! A running list below of what I’ve either already bought, am very close to pulling the trigger on, or is on my wish list. I can’t wait to feel like myself again when I get dressed every morning.

• I generally don’t buy things new or full price unless I truly can’t find it on resale or can’t stop thinking about it for at least a week, maybe two. Fortunately, I have found a few things I’ve had my eye on at resale, so I am now the proud owner of a similar version of these Roucha pants that I’m still trying to decide if I like or not, a black COS blazer that I really love but might resell again because the sleeves are a little tight, a great leather jacket that I am excited to wear this fall, and the below loafers that I found on eBay not at full price because I’m not yet sure if I’m a loafer person.

  

• I did end up with a couple full price purchases recently, mostly denim, because I find it so hard to buy online and without being able to try on and return. This skirt was a little bit of a departure, but I love it (see outfit below that was a big departure but will probably have to be repeated), and I’m finding long, wide pants very flattering on myself right now, so I ended up with these and these.

  

• Currently in my cart are these Onitsuka sneakers because I will always be a sneaker person, these jeans that everyone on the Substack chats seem to be raving about, this sweater because I can’t ever have enough sweaters, and these shoes because I think I want to start wearing a heel again.

• I am also on the hunt for a new overcoat, and this Soeur one is still very much top of mind (I’ve shared it here before, and I cant stop thinking about it).

• From work, I am excited to get my hands on these boots we have coming in for fall, and these jeans and these jeans (I love jeans!) that are part of our new collection. I think I’m becoming a barrel jean person?

• I also think I am ready to try a mini skirt, and am feeling inspired by this J. Crew slip skirt and the below leather mini I found on Poshmark. Do I dare?? Maybe with a big chunky v neck??

  

• I am lusting after this sweater from COS, that Lauren Sherman convinced me I need, but may end up with a similar Zara version I found on Poshmark that’s more in my budget. I also really, really love this one from Toast and may just splurge because, well, I deserve it.

• And lastly, I need a new bag. I love my Bags in Progress carry all and would recommend a thousand times over, but I’m searching for something leather, a little smaller so I can’t carry as much around and destroy my back, and that isn’t too trendy. Taking any and all suggestions in the comment section, please and thanks!

Ok fine, none of the above are really that daring or crazy, it’s still mostly jeans and sweaters after all, but my closet space and spending power are limited, so this is both an exercise in finding my style and doing it in a way that makes sense with my lifestyle, budget, space, and body.

Happy to have you all along this journey with me!

xx,

jen