issue #22: a day in the life, vol. 1

attempting to find levity in the work/life balance struggle of having a family in brooklyn while keeping a job.

1 am: the baby is crying. Again. I thought we were over middle of the night feedings, but she seems hungry, so I make her a bottle. I hold her close, letting her eyes droop, get heavy, eventually close.  I should put her back in the crib right away, but I don’t, enjoying the weight of her body on my chest. Listening to her breathing. Letting her wiggle into a position she finds more comfortable, even though it isn’t for me.  I clasp my hands around her back, just in case I doze off too. Eventually I nestle her in the nook of my right shoulder, between AJ and I.  I let her sleep there for a while, until she starts writhing around, needing her own space, and I finally move her back to bed.

5 am: My internal clock is permanently set to 5 am, for better or worse. Today, I just can’t do it, I can’t get out of bed. It was a long night of feeding and rocking and cuddling and I just need a few….more…minutes…

6:30 am: I finally drag myself out of bed, knowing I will regret it if I don’t give myself a few minutes of quiet time before the rest of the family wakes up.  These moments of early morning silence and solitude have become so precious to me.  Since becoming a mom my alone time has become an elusive thing. Coveted and rare. But it’s also necessary, because I know that I can’t be a good partner, mother, employee, without this time to myself to think, meditate, recharge, just have time for me to do whatever I want (within reason, it is early morning in a sleeping household, after all).  Today, I feel impossibly braindead, after all the early birthday celebrations, guests, entertaining, cleaning, cooking, and being out and about over the last few days, so I sit and stare at the news, working my way through my daily rundowns from various news outlets I follow, skimming saved articles, catching up on things I’ve missed after (gloriously) spending time away from my phone for a few days.

good morning from my dining room!

7:30 am: the rest of the crew starts to wake, so I prepare the baby’s breakfast - a banana, of course (she can’t get enough), and egg bites I prepped yesterday (she can’t get enough, recipe below). I sip my coffee as I watch her eat. Laughing as she tests both gravity and our patience by dropping all her food on the floor over and over and over again.  We need a dog I think to myself, before squatting down to clean it all up over and over and over again.  This is why people have kids young I whisper to no one, as my knee creaks while I stand and my lower back starts to give out from bending over too much.

8 am: I am very lucky that my mother is here to help babysit today, and that means I finally get to work out.  I am a Soulcycle at home bike owner and Karyn Nez loyalist even though I’m convinced she is trying to kill me with each ride, but I can’t get enough.  Today is particularly difficult after a few days away and all the excess wine I consumed this weekend, but hey, I get 30 minutes in and that’s not nothing! 

10 am: I throw on some WFH clothes that are presentable for calls but are also comfortable. I log in for our weekly team meeting that could definitely be an email.  It’s one of three each week, and by far the least productive, but without it I would probably just keep cleaning and tidying.  I love working from home on Monday’s (the rest of the week I’m in the office), but I need constant reminders to focus on work and not the house.  Like everyone, I assume. Today, no one else shows up, so I get gifted an extra hour to find some motivation (it’s been elusive as of late).

10:30  am: I venture to the local coffee shop for a latte and a little treat and hope the change of scenery will inspire me to start working. Instead of working, I start writing this post, and continue making my playlist for tomorrow’s yoga class (code for a free class at the bottom). Productive!

the best “wfh” spot

12 pm: I head home for lunch (thanks, mom!) and I guess it’s time to get some work done?  I submit orders for a few new brands I am bringing into the shop for the holiday season (a few listed at the bottom of this post), review my budget and how much of someone else’s money I have left to spend for the year, research new brands to buy for 2025, and work on scheduling out my women’s fashion and market week, happening next month.  I strategize our visual merchandising plan as we start to launch the fall collections, and work on presentations about the new brands I am buying for the store. So many spreadsheets. And powerpoints. And line sheets. 

cute issey vibes?

1:30 pm: The absolute worst thing about adulting, in my opinion, is going to the dentist. But it’s a sign of growth that I do it voluntarily and regularly(ish) without anyone bribing me.  So alas, today is dentist day.  The upside is that it’s a really lovely 45 minute walk through some of the quaintest parts of Brooklyn.  Had I planned better, I would have stopped for a leisurely afternoon wine (with my work laptop of course), on the way.  But I didn’t, so I speed walk the mile and a half down Bergen and wonder why I didn’t pick a closer location.  (PS if anyone has any recs for dentists that fully put you down for any procedure that’s really what I’m on the hunt for.  Fix my teeth up while I get a good drug induced nap in?  Sign me up.)  Anyways, my mom meets me there with my baby after and I’ve never seen her smile so big in her life and honestly it just feels good to have someone excited to see you like that!  We all stroll home together, and despite being told not to eat for a couple hours, it’s snack time when we get back and I require some leftover birthday cake.

literally the worst

4 pm: I try to finish my work for the day while I watch my daughter on the baby monitor practice her headstands and wonder if I should go in there and stop her? Try to get her to sleep? Let her out to play?  For now, she’s being rather chill and not crying, so I let her be. Plus it’s honestly adorable to see her wiggle around in downward dog trying to figure out how to move her body and fight the sleep that I know she is craving. 

4:30 pm: I give up and send my mom in to read with her, which is so lovely to listen to from the other room. I space out a little bit thinking about how messy the apartment is and wondering how many glasses of wine I am able to have tonight if I have to teach yoga at 7 tomorrow morning.  Then it’s time for more adulting: reviewing my spending from last week and updating my personal budget (spoiler alert: I’m over budget).  I talk my husband into booking a last minute trip to Colorado this weekend, and am actually very much  looking forward to a quiet weekend alone with my kid. 

5:30 pm: A dear old friend from my wild NYC party days / former roommate is in town from Amsterdam, so she comes by and we have a glass of wine and a catch up.

6:30 pm: It’s dinner, bath and bedtime for the baby, which we have gotten down to a science around here.  First, we stuff her face with mango (I’ve never seen her eat anything so fast in my life), premade meatballs, cottage cheese (her favorite), and what I like to call Louisa apples which are really just sliced apples fried in butter and cinnamon (yes, I feed that to my baby, she loves it, don’t come after me).  Then it’s a quick dip in the tub because she can’t stand a long bath (weirdo), and then it’s pajamas to the tune of *head,  shoulders, knees, and toes* because if I’m not singing that exact song while I get her in her jammies she will wiggle and squirm and attempt to crawl off the back of the changing table. After that it’s a bottle while I read her Goodnight Moon no less than four times, before she insists on turning off the light herself and starfishing in her crib while cycling through the six pacifiers I leave in there as a distraction while I slip out of her room. She falls asleep peacefully and I pray to literally every god that she will stay asleep all night tonight for fucking once good lord.

8 pm: My husband makes a beautiful dinner of chicken parm for me, him, my friend from Amsterdam, and my mother.  We have a lovely dinner together at home, catching up and just spending time.  I have 1.5 glasses of wine and desperately want to just make it two but I know that last .5 will mean a headache that I just don’t have time for in the morning.  

9 pm: My husband is a lovely cook and means very well but any time he cooks it’s like a hurricane rolls through our kitchen, so we spend some time cleaning up because I just can’t wake up to a mess. Despite my bedtime being a solid 8:45 pm most nights, I manage to power through. Probably thanks to those 1.5 glasses of wine. 

a mess!

9:30 pm: I give up and let AJ finish the rest. Run through my pm skincare routine (it’s not extensive, see below), read a few pages of my latest stoop book find (NSFW by Isabel Kaplan), and then it’s lights out. 

10 pm: She does not sleep through the night! She is up and ready to party! I think her two front teeth are coming in so I give her drugs to relax (Tylenol) and we snuggle until she falls asleep again. It’s annoying and lovely at the same time. 

11 pm: I finally get her back into bed and can try to sleep myself.  Unfortunately my anxiety riddled brain has now been activated and I can’t stop thinking about her, her teeth, what I will teach in class in the morning, did I finish my playlist? I wonder if my students like me? Remember that one time I said something weird at the bar on spring break 2006? How many kegels do I have to do over the next few months in order to stop myself from peeing when I jog? I wonder if my coworkers like me? Did I do a good job at the dentist? If I fall asleep *now* I’ll get 6 hours of sleep….if I fall asleep *now* I’ll get 5 hours of sleep…

IN THIS POST….